Monday, October 11, 2010

How we spend our days

I have just started reading a new book.

I picked up some words of wisdom which I would like to share.

"It's like washing the dishes. If you focus on getting the dishes done so that the kitchen will be clean, you miss everything that happens between dirty and clean. The warmth of the water, the pop of the bubbles, the movements of your hand. You miss the life that happens in the middle zone - between now and what you think your life should be like. And when you miss those moments because you'd rather be doing something else, you are missing your own life. Those moments are gone. You will never get them back.

The writer Annie Dillard says, "How you spend your days is how you spend your life." Be unwaveringly honest. Ask yourself how you want to spend your days." 

How you spend your days is how you spend your life.

The time is now.
I needed a reminder. 
I read that before bed.

And went to sleep with a renewed sparkle.

And this morning, Annie reminded me of just this fact.

How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

She went out and picked flowers for breakfast.

She set her little table.
So that we could sit in the sun and eat our breakfast in the sunlight.
With her lovely flowers.

But I didn't see it initially.

I said, "Come on, we are going to be late for school."
Since getting to school on time is so much more important than paying attention to what you daughter is doing.

And she said, "But Mom, I did this for you. I wanted you to sit in the sun and enjoy a lovely breakfast."

I felt like such an unenlightened fool.

I apologised.
I thanked her for the wonderful table and great company for breakfast.

And we were late for school.

Did it matter?

We spent our morning in the glory of the Spring sunshine.

While Xavier took the flowers out of the vase and drank the water!

That is how I spent my day.
That is how I am spending my life.

Blessings to you.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Here is something you might not know about me.

I always wanted to be a psychologist.

I have always been interested in the workings of the mind.
How people develop, grow.
How their circumstances affect their circumstances.
But, I went to university and studied to be a Charted Accountant.
I am a Virgo.
I love order, organisation, everything in it's place.

A perfect combination for an accountant, don't you think?

This psychology business was just a frivolous dream.
A person could not make money being a psychologist.
When your parents have emigrated to a country where they do not speak the language.
Where their masters degrees do not offer them the opportunities they were promised.
Where they spend a lot of their time breaking their backs to make it work in a foreign place.
They transfer their desires onto their children.

My mom would not have me be a psychologist.

It was a waste of time.
I would never make any money.
What would be the point?

So I did my degree.
I did my honours.
I did article-ship.
I sat the board exam.
One of the hardest exams to sit for in South Africa.

(South African Chartered Accountants are one of the best in the world.
When you tell someone that you are a Chartered Accountant, they put you up a level. You are in the same league as a judge, or a surgeon. It's funny, when I tell people in Australia what my qualification is, they don't bat an eye lid. It just doesn't seem to hold any level of prestige here.)

And I was miserable.

But, it also instilled in me the knowing that if I could achieve that, I could achieve anything.

My whole journey at university and articles was spent dreaming about when and how I would become a psychologist.

It was a terrible day when my mom died.
And I wish her back with me every day.
But once she was no longer here, I felt a certain freedom.

To pursue my own dreams.

So I started studying.


I loved it.
My heart was right all along.
I wanted to be a psychologist.

And then we decided to move to Australia.
And I spent two years setting up a life.
Having another baby.
Looking after my family.

And my dream was put into the "When will you ever get a chance to do that", pile.

And then I happened to hear a psychology lecture the other day.
And the lecturer was talking about axons and dendrites.
And I was mesmerised.

And I realised that my dream is still alive.
It is in my heart.
I want to be a psychologist.

I thought the dream was gone.
And I realise that it is not.

I don't know when or how.
But I have faith.

The best teacher we can be to our children is to live our own best lives.
That is what inspires them to live their own best lives.

I have to follow my dream.

So for now, just for now, I dream.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Beach time

I am always so inspired by Kristi and her visits to the beach.
She lives in my city, but I think much closer to the beach than I do.
She is there practically every day!

It takes us about an hour to get to the beach, so it is not a daily occurrence for us, unfortunately.

With Spring really in the air today, we headed for the sand.
What a lovely day.


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